I breath like the wind in the trees

prayer?

2009-06-23T01:10:00.001-07:00

i have a question, why do we pray? actually what is prayer? is it those sick psalms david and the other psalmist recited? is it us crying out to god? is it us closing our eyes bowing our heads and routinely saying out loud a well rehearsed prayer? is it all of them? do our voices really change things? i mean obviously abraham and moses had a voice God listened to enough to act, is prayer to increase our faith to trust god will answer them once in a while? i know we are to pray without ceasing but my question is why and what is that suppose to look like. maybe you dont have a definite answer but i would like your imput on what you think, cus i have written sonnets and poems and laments and closed my eyes and shouted at god in anger...i want to see move why does he ignore me? because i am a sinner? well he forgave that, i try my best to repent, he knows my heart, its not my faith cus i truly believe he can and will do anything...how do we pray and see god in a big way

to be continued thoughts

2009-06-17T01:14:00.000-07:00

how deep the ocean is...how shallow this world has become...how blind i have become...how deaf we all remain

the tree sways in the wind, violently gentle, the moon brightly dim, i stand still as i lay down. i run to the pace of my heart as i sleep. i am a walking breathing contradiction, i am a sitting suffocating truth.

what control do i have over my evil when my truths run a muck...control...meekness...how can i control power when i cant control emotions...they are like the blood in my veins, running from my heart to the rest of my body. they are apart of my every being. my passion is derived from the way they feel...emotion...a balance of control and to control the balance...only from you lord will i be able to do this. please give me the stregnth to push on and be the nobody who shines you and not me. let max luna die forever and the god in him live...give me the stregnth to die so that i can finally live. emotion....the blood in my veins...my sign of life....i must feel only you god, your blood in my veins no more me. only you...forever you.

Marriage, Life, Jobs: Perspectives from a Christian Point of View

2009-06-17T00:38:00.000-07:00

They say classical music influences people to think, and enhances learning ability…so i pray these words fulfill the same note and sound structure of Mozart’s “Introitus Requiem Aeternam”

I think there is a significant difference between having a job and working.

I have come across many people who ask if i have a job, because i need to be responsible and be working.

Well i say that the bible definitely uses work in a way to encourage the advancing of God’s kingdom.

I bear the cross in a metaphorically literal way. i plan on WORKING as hard as i can to do this. i allow the works of the spirit to flow in and out of us, i work physically to stack chairs and help people move things, i bring food for people who may not have any, i work towards the glorification of gods kingdom….so yes, i am working.

No i do not have a “job” and no i have not worked as hard as i could putting everything i have into glorifying god with my works…but thanks to the grace of god he still speaks to me and encourages me even when everyone else does the opposite.

So to the Christians running in the routine of life let me ask you something. ministry? is it possible to reach people at your job? and could that be a way to reach people? yes your right…but then why didn’t Christ keep his carpenter job and just give discounts and tell people bout god like that? why did Paul not be the pharisee which brought change from the inside out?

“Calling” is whatever you want it to be now. all i know is that yes, the times may be different then back then, but we use that too much as an excuse to why the disciples of today live nothing like the disciples spoken of in the bible. we are clearly suppose to suffer. but as soon as we do, we pray against it.

We seek the best of both worlds…notice i say we, I’m apart of this too. we want the world and god…we cant serve two gods.

I’m not saying having a job is wrong, i believe we must respond to the situations in life:

1Co 7:25 Now concerning the betrothed, I have no command from the Lord, but I give my judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy.
1Co 7:26 I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is.
1Co 7:27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife.

Likely Page Break

1Co 7:28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that.
1Co 7:29 This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none,
1Co 7:30 and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods,
1Co 7:31 and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away.
1Co 7:32 I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord.
1Co 7:33 But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife,
1Co 7:34 and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband.
1Co 7:35 I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.
1Co 7:36 If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry-it is no sin.
1Co 7:37 But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well.
1Co 7:38 So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better.

So if your married and or have kids..you gotta do what you gotta do… but don’t live to please them but to please god

Even they who have wives be as serious, zealous, active, dead to the world, as devoted to God, as holy in all manner of conversation, as if they had none

I’m torn because i got a girl i wanna marry…the sick thing is..she has the same heart as me and we going to do gods work together in whatever shape or form that is….and please god first and foremost.

I delight in the things of the world…i delight more in the fact that God is in me…i do not want to delight on the things of the world it all passes away……

I do not want to spend my whole life in traffic or at a desk once in a while giving godly advice to a few people.

I want to work hard, towards and with the gifts and visions god has given me to pursue, and if i have no money then so let it be…

But i do not want to stand in front of god and say the reason i spent so much time earing minimum wage instead of what i felt was right, was to live in an apartment and have nice clothes and be a “responsible man” …when we clearly are here for more…

Yes pay your debts and get out of debt

To the people who have more money than they know what to do with. help the orphans and poor and children. i believe we were suppose to be a people…a body which supports each other but i guess the way that seems right to man really does lead to death, and to all you out there i chose to love you as god loves me to the best of my ability and anything you need i will work hard to help you with.

Please follow the way god is leading and don’t let money worry you or a job…you will be working hard for the kingdom of god and yes that will include pain being broke and unpaid physical labor …which boss are you working for…money? man?…. or god?

Culture, Truth, and My Subjectively Objective Mind

2009-06-17T00:36:00.000-07:00

The will of god conflicts with the heart of man. the culture of man conflicts with the truth of god. right and wrong decided on cultural and moral standards, determined by the heart of man…what moral standard is not situational? what cultural view point is not subjective? objectivity and God’s word categorized as an oxymoron. where do we find truth? in ourselves? in experience? in god? how can u find truth in something you don’t even believe is there? closed mindedness is the key to deceit. if we do not open ourselves up to possibility(the possibility God exists) we will never experience impossibility thus never experiencing god. because god is an impossible god.

Truth is his proof of existence. but truth is now a mere idea, a mans own pocket knife. no longer is it the sword shooting out of the mouth of god. it is every mans weapon of defense…a common opinion, a cop out to no longer open your mind up to possibility that maybe, my “truth” is wrong…. every “truth” is proven with science, every science is proven with science and every science is made with a hypothesis which is science. all means of creation ends in science. truth is not scientific, truth is god. truth is founded in the fabric of life. we say science is the truth we can prove. no one can prove healing through prayer to be scientific. god created, he created life, earth and the function of it. it would be redundant to try to prove god using science, because he already proved himself through the creation of science. it reminds me of ..i believe its in Isaiah, where the man creates a god using wood from the trees and the fire and the metals of the earth, to bow down and worship this idol…when Yahweh was the one who created these things in the first place. we replace the creation for the creator. we replace morals with subjectivity, we use culture to mask the face of sin, and we also use it to lose sight of the bigger and more important things. tattoos, clothing, haircuts, jobs, cars, dogs, respect….all cultural aspects of life but all pointless arguments for moral advancement. in moderation, cultural things do not influence sin, but with no boundaries we fall slaves to the culture. marriage, child birth, love…all up for grabs with our subjective pocket knife truth…sin is not created by man, sin is apart of man no matter what. god is the judge not man.

God is love but hates wickedness, god created a man for a women. man did not create marriage, god showed us the way it should be. sin separated from man through god, not science, not culture, not opinion. truth may be the one thing this world will never accept. i think god is truth not through my creation of words or thoughts or feelings or ideas…i know god is truth because i discovered him. experience…what have you experienced? science? aliens? if you haven’t experienced god it doesn’t mean he doesn’t exist just as i have never experienced the moon. i have seen it but never experienced it, but it exists. be open and willing to learn truth…no better yet be open and willing to experience god. truth will follow.